Hope Anyway

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Hope Doesn't always make sense, hope anyways.

My good friend Emily said these words during one of the hardest parts of her story last year. I am clinging to them now.

We are in an unprecedented crisis in our country. Our world has literally been turned upside down. For me, and many other military spouses, this feels all too familiar. The uncertainty, the lack of information, the constantly changing guidelines, and immediate major change of plans are all things that our military is used to.  Our family's life has been uprooted before, however, we had immediate resources available to us at that time with clear structure on how to proceed. The uncertainty and heartache surrounding this current crisis is devastating to say the least. 

Yesterday, I watched my son process his world being shattered for the second time in his life. Everything that he loves... sports, his friends, his community, school... gone for the immediate future. Our Governor closed school for the remainder of the 2019-2020 year. Our district is now scrambling to find ways to meet the needs of students using distance learning opportunities. Our teachers and administration are amazing! They are working their tails off to try and do their absolute best for the students in our district. They are as heartbroken as we are. Our kids became their kids. They know and love them for all that they are, and all they can be. They see potential in them that we may tend to miss. 

One of the pieces that makes this hurt so differently, is that it was a decision that our Governor made; this wasn't an act of God such as a tornado or hurricane. I applaud her for doing all in her power to try and keep our kids and communities safe, but dang this still hurts. Some of you may be reading this thinking, but you're so blessed! That's another reason why I cried last night. The ramifications of this crisis are going to be devastating for so many families in more ways than one. Our children have known heartache, but have led a very privileged life overall. We are fully aware of how incredibly blessed we are, but being blessed does not mean that we don't feel pain, sadness, or grief when things we love suddenly disappear.
A few weeks ago, I cried when I realized how few years we had left with our kids at home. This was our final year in elementary. I cried because I felt like I've failed. I felt like I hadn't done enough and there just wasn't enough time to fix it. I lamented that my children didn't know the Bible the way that I did by their age, that we spent so much time going to practices, games, and events, we would rarely see each other on certain days. I hated that I felt like I had missed out on entire seasons, years even, with my kids thanks to my anxiety & depression. I had spent so much time trying to numb my own life, I was missing theirs. 

And now, here we are...smack dab in the middle of the biggest pandemic facing our country in the last 100 years. We are home. We have no where to be but together. We have meals, we are safe, have steady incomes, are able to help our friends and neighbors, and we are currently healthy. I can see hope springing up.

I fully believe that in the midst of grief, anxiety, despair, uncertainty, and desperation hope can be found. We can find it in new life circumstances, trying new things, in serving those around us, and finding what we thought was lost forever. 

There is hope in this. 

Last night I made a list of all the things I want to teach my children during this season and some things I want to learn. I added doing their own laundry (they know how, but we need a better routine), and learning note taking/study skills, but I also added things like the story of King David, a regular yoga practice and learning to paint with watercolors. I asked both kids to make me a list of 5 things they each want to learn about. I said "it can be anything: a city, a point in history, an experiment, a person, how to make something, a language, whatever you are interested in learning more about". I want them to know that I value what they are interested in during this stage of their life. This has not always been something I am good at. And for the first time, we truly have the time to devote to this. I have not gotten a response yet but I'm interested to see what they come up with. "Homeschooling" my kids was never something I wanted to do, and this is coming from someone who grew wanting to be a teacher! I am so grateful I will not be doing this alone. I need the instruction and plans their amazing teachers will be providing. I also know that I need to be truly intentional with this time with them and make the most of this opportunity. 

So today, I will choose hope. I will choose to be grateful for the resources we have been given, the opportunities we have, and how God is going to move in and through this time together. No matter how out of control this situation seems, there is hope and we are not alone in this. While we can't all go grab a cup of coffee together (how good does that sound right now?!) we can still be there for each other. Please reach out if you need help. And if you can be a help to others, do that...

...and wash your freaking hands. xoxo
PS: My friend Emily, makes the most amazing handmade soaps. You can find her www.livesimplesoap.com . Seriously, best soap ever. 

Spreading Holiday Cheer

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Hello friends! As I begin to revamp this space (again....) I decided that I would start by sharing a really simple way to spread a little holiday cheer this year.

The way we do our shopping has changed over the last few years. Where I used to do majority of my shopping in stores and just a little bit online, but it really has flipped around. I end up having to track Amazon packages like I'm smuggling something illegal because I want to make sure no one steals them, or that no kid (or hubby) gets a glimpse of what I purchased! With only 11 days until Christmas, I am doing a lot of online shopping.

Being in KC also means that we have multiple fulfillment or distribution centers. I know quite a few friends who deliver for either UPS, Amazon, FedEx or USPS. The rise in online shopping means that they are in high demand, working longer hours with very few breaks, as they strive to get us everything we ordered. What better way to share some holiday spirit than to give them a treat while on their route!?


While I work from home, and often intercept packages as they arrive, most of us do not. So being able to physically offer something to a driver usually isn't possible or always the safest option. However, you can leave them a basket of treats to choose from!

I love how my friend Katie over at MyLittleKateCod does this as well and I adore heart behind it.

My Little Kate Cod
Photos from @mylittlekatecod. 
My Little Kate Cod

She is a gem! A talented interior designer, has her own blend of coffee, raises monarchs, and works with kids on the awesome(autism) spectrum as a speech pathologist. I've learned so much from her! Go follow her! Go.... I'll wait... 

Ok so now that you've followed her over at MyLittleKateCod, lets talk delivery baskets...

Here are my top 5 favorite things to include in a basket 
for delivery drivers:

     We live in an area where the temperature often goes below freezing at night in December, so leaving cans of soda or other carbonated drinks outside is really not an option. Waters or gatorades are a great option that can freeze/unfreeze well.

     I try to leave a mix of these out, with several different flavors/options. I would absolutely hate for someone with an allergy to not be able to take a treat because all I had was peanut butter based bars.

     We pack lunches daily around here so I usually have snack bags of cookies or crackers on hand. These are nice because they are something that they can take and eat later.

     A littler energy boost can go a long way, especially if they already have a water on hand. Watch for ones that have electrolytes and/or caffeine.

     Because sometimes that's all the pick-me-up you need!


You can download your own blank copy of mine to use here, or by clicking on the image.

Christmas Thank You Note
*for personal use only*

I hope this gives you some ideas of how to help spread a little holiday cheer this Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Photos belong to @lifeattheclubhouse and @mylittlekatecod. They may not be reused without permission. 

Who needs coffee? Me.. I need it...

Friday, December 6, 2019

Hello friends!

While I have been pretty good about keeping up on instagram and trying to update facebook as well, I have severely neglected this space! I am so sorry!

This last year had made me realize how much I truly love design, both graphic and interior, and I am hoping I can find a way to share that here. I think I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up! Haha! Nothing like waiting until 36....

Not much has changed since my last post nearly a year ago, except that we have done a few more things to the house, Jackson is officially taller than me (and gaining on Jeremy daily), and we are knocking on the door of having no kids in elementary school. HOLD ME!

CopyRight © | Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan